The Real Housewives of Atlanta Haiku Recap: Shade is Thrown All Night - Wigs Are Worn Parties Are Crashed - Hos Again Prevail

There's no reason why trash can't be classy, amirite? With that noble end in mind, here's The ABIB's eastern take on bringing all of you up to speed on the Hotlanta Ladies. And, as always, I use that term very, very lightly.

Phaedra
Pitiful whiner
Married a felon and now
Bitches about jail

Porsha
Fake boobs on display
Dish TV Boss throws party
Frenemies gather

Nene
Me Me Me Me Me
Shrimp and grits fried egg pork chop
Me Me Me Me Me

Kandi
Short hubby fucks up
Picks wrong promoter ruins tour
when will the bitch learn

Kenya
Wanna be player
Brings Roger Bobb crap ideas
Kryptonite she is

Claudia
Stealing thunder from
Dumb ass Porsha is OK
But the wig must go

Cynthia
Absent tonight's show
Likely screwing Uncle Ben
As her net worth drops

That's the show this week
Stay tuned for more crazy shit
Cause these hos be whack