Greetings all, tonight I'm here to talk to you about, as the title of this post says, ignorant-ass people. Now, I've touched on the specifics of tonight's tirade in another post about suffering the indignities of Wegman's. But I have to say, this most repugnant demonstration of ignoramussity (made that one up, you betcha) really calls out for it's own, full post. I'm talking about people who continue to talk on their cell phones while they are being waited on by service personnel.
Can I get an AMEN! people? Here's the way it went down. Yesterday I was at a local movie theater waiting while my other half got us a couple of tickets to see The Fighter (good movie, BTW, super call-outs to Melissa Leo and Christian Bale). Anyhoo, I'm standing around idly trying to decide if I want to spring for the $40 snack of popcorn and a soda, when I happen to see the BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS in the lobby saunter up to the ticket window where a perfectly visible ACTUAL PERSON sat taking money and dispensing tickets.
BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS was, whot? whot?, of course yakking on her (yes, it was a her) cellphone. Now, you'd think that common courtesy would dictate that BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS would conclude the call prior to reaching the window but that she would, at a MINIMUM, conclude the call, OR AT LEAST PUT DOWN THE FUCKING PHONE, for the fraction of a few moments that it would take her to speak to the ACTUAL PERSON behind the glass, give said person her money and take the ticket(s).
But apparently BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS was at that moment either: A) Dictating the landing instructions for the Space Shuttle, AS IT LANDED; B) Leading peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians; or C) Providing the final variable in the equation that would result in the cure for cancer. Because, quite frankly, anything less would have meant that BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS was just a common, ignorant douchebag so convinced of her own importance that NOBODY and I mean NOBODY was going to come between her and her critical conversation. Not even a LIVING, BREATHING PERSON with whom she was having an IN PERSON CONVERSATION.
I watched with amazement as BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS continued to chat as she barely acknowledged that the woman behind the ticket counter glass had addressed her; did not fucking stop talking INTO HER CELL PHONE as she sloooooooowwwwly extracted some bills from her wallet, and KEPT ON TALKING as the person took her money and gave her the tickets. I heard, WITH MY OWN EARS, the theater employee cheerfully thank her and extend her wish for BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS to "enjoy the movie!" Needless to say, BIGGEST, FATTEST, RUDEST ASS just kep' on truckin', motherfucker, truckin' and TALKIN', that is.
Now for those of you who have been reading this blog, it should come as no surprise when I say that I find most other people to be barely, BARELY, tolerable. They're everywhere, they get in your way, and more often than should be allowed in a civilized society, they smell. But THIS! This was beyond the pale, I mean what kind of a FUCKING BONEHEADED DIPSHIT can't figure out the basic comportment required to be out in public? Bitch got her enormous ass into her incredibly inappropriately tight jeans. Bitch got her fat arms into her incredibly inappropriately tight sweater. Evidently bitch got her BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS to the fucking movie theater. But apparently bitch don't gotta stop her convo for no-fucking-body up to, and including, someone with whom she is engaged in a person-to-person interaction.
I have to tell you folks, it took every ounce of my self-control and my ongoing desire to not get myself arrested, to keep from marching over to that self-satisfied, ignorant asshole and ripping that phone from her skanky-ass ear. And if an earring came away in my hand, all the better. But of course, I didn't; I simply stared at her and shook my head in the way of all curmudgeons. Problem was BIGGEST, FATTEST ASS didn't even see me and if she had I'm sure her tiny, ameoba brain wouldn't have made the connection that I was staring with my shaming expression at her. And really, even if she had I'm sure she couldn't possibly have cared less. Because truth be told, that Space Shuttle wasn't going to land itself.