Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Proof That The USPS Needs to Go Under Already (based on a true story, just like all of The ABIB's other rants but I wanted to point this one out special-like)

OK, this one's short. The following conversation should serve as further proof (did we need any?) that the US Postal Service, the once proud conveyor of this nation's daily correspondence has sunk to a new low. Sorry in advance to my wonderful postal carrier who I love and who I'm pretty much 100% sure does NOT read this blog. Anyway, here's how it went down out at a US Post Office in Chicago a couple of days ago:

Customer: Hi, I'd like to purchase a US Postal Service Money Order please?

USPS Desk Clerk: Oh, we don't have any of those. You might try the Jewell-Osco but they're gonna need cash.

Customer: Oh, uh, OK well thanks anyway.

Exit Customer, Stage Left.

So, to recap, just in case it's necessary, a person went into a US POST OFFICE wanting to purchase a US POSTAL SERVICE MONEY ORDER and was told by a US POSTAL EMPLOYEE that 1) they didn't have any, and 2) to head on down the street to a Chicago supermarket chain to buy, again...A US POSTAL SERVICE MONEY ORDER! Am I the only one who sees the amazing level of ridiculous in this scenario? Which by the way, as noted in the title, actually happened. I mean can you imagine having this kind of conversation at a FedEx or UPS office? No, I didn't think so; me either. And to my technologically savvy readers, I can hear what you're thinking:

"Hey ABIB, why is anyone still using paper to conduct payment transactions in this day and age? Why not just pay using Paypal, for example?"

To all of you I say: I hear you loud and clear and could not agree more. But when one is forced to deal with a landlady who is firmly rooted in approximately 1911, and one has not yet received one's personal checks in the mail, one is faced with having the conversation I've recapped above. So, to return to my USPS rant, just today this (briefly excerpted) article appeared in the news:

WASHINGTON (CNNMoney) -- Without last-minute help from Congress, the U.S. Postal Service is likely to default on a big bill due Wednesday to the federal government -- $5.5 billion to prepay health care benefits for retirees.

I say, pay the retirees, write off the loss and call it a day. We could always go back to the pony express to deliver things that, for whatever Luddite-based reasoning can't be digitally transacted, and all the package deliveries from here on out get split between FedEx and UPS. I mean, how hard is it to reprint those troublesome money orders to say: FedEx Money Order? If they do, I guarantee that the above conversation would never be heard again. And in case you're reading this, wonderful postal carrier, which I'm sure you're not, FedEx and UPS would have a bidding war over your services.