Monday, February 12, 2007

The Gender Divide

How is it that the average middle-aged woman is constanty reassessing her appearance, her demeanor and her wardrobe, while the average middle-aged man is blithely unaware of exactly how boring, homely and unspeakably un-funny he is? I see it all the time where I work: middle-aged men who have likely worn out the welcome mat at home years earlier, hanging around the cubicles of younger, attractive women and offering preposterous "banter" aimed at charming said younger women. And believing that IT WORKS!!!

I mean, dude, have you LOOKED in a mirror this decade? You're not a "playa", you're a fucking homely-ass freak, for God's sake! In spite of your heroic efforts at containing it, your flabby-ass gut is blobbing over your "hip" Sansa Belt slacks and your shirt buttons are hanging on for dear life. How can you not see that? And another thing: stop trying to flirt with us! It's just plain sickening is what it is. YOU'RE OLD AND NOT RICH!!! WE'RE YOUNG!! GO AWAY!!!

Bad posture, yellow teeth, rheumy eyes and that terrifying comb-over, quite against the popular "wisdom" of your current issue of "Old Dude", is not sexy, not appealing and may very well be fodder for legal action. Back off, buster, or we may be forced to yank that bad rug right off your big-ass bald head. And no, it wasn't fooling anyone.


les mots vides said...

Haha! I cam across your blog randomly and I must say you hit the nail on the head. I laughed at how sad and true this is. It's not fair how men of the same age as an older woman have more leeway looks wise. But that's a patriarchal society for you. It's ironic how men are more visually stimulated by women, but are usually the worst in keeping up their appearances.

Paul "Paul" Rosa (NY City), 45. said...

Hey, I'm 45 years old and was wondering if that chick who posted first is under 25 (just my type).

If so, I might be willing to buy her a cocktail while my wife is out of town with the kids next week.

Peace, out!